ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL WAS NEVER GIVEN, IT HAD TO BE SHAPED THROUGH HARDWORK AND DEDICATION...Matthew Smoak

Last night I was texting back and forth with my oldest son, he is 18 and at school in the marines in Missouri. I was complaining about how difficult my new project was. I knew it was going to be work...but hard work I was not prepared for. I thought "oh I will have this knocked out in a day or two" WRONG. I am taking about 4 or 5 layers off of the kitchen cabinets. Striping it to the natural finish. It is an old house and is currently painted a not-so-country shiny green. My boys did this about 2 years ago with their father and their great-grandfathers farm house. They had twice as many cabinets. But they also had twice as much help. So...I complained to my son about how much hard work it is going to be and he sent me a text saying...



ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL WAS NEVER GIVEN, IT HAD TO BE SHAPED THROUGH HARD WORK AND DEDICATION...


That made me stop and say with a big fat tear in my eye...When exactly did my baby boy turn into an awesome man? Don't blink folks...

My First

My first

Remember I mentioned that I had done a few “first” things since my big change? Well, I have some pictures I would like to share. I am adding to the “first” thing almost everyday. My goal is to at least do a “first” thing twice a month. I have missed out on a lot in the last ten years so it shouldn’t be too hard.


Yummmm…
My very first fudge-pecan brownies! That I haven’t burnt! I have an oven in my new home that is awesome. I knew all along it wasn’t me burning the baked goodies it was the silly oven I was using! Here is the proof!

How about this…
My first penholder!!! I painted it myself…you gotta start somewhere!

This I think turned out pretty ok…
My first fall table flower arrangement. I went to a pottery store and saw one of these for $89.00! I was telling myself, I don’t think so scooter! I did it myself for under $15.00.

Blllpp…
My first fish tank! We bought 6 lil fishies to put in there. I see that it isn’t going to be enough. Plus they are not colorful enough…but I get a pass with all my “first” stuff because I am learning by experience.

Huh?…
The first time I have ever seen an actual fig tree with fruit on it. Really. We have two in the yard and this one was still putting out figs. I am told that is unusual for the season.

Pretty…
Here is my first real fall flower arrangement. My boys made the stand as a TV stand for me out of cedar. When I moved I didn’t know what to do with it but was not about to give it up due to its sentimental value. We put it on the front porch and put the flowers in it. It turned out really pretty.

Money maker…
This is something my guy and I did together. This is my first future investment. We crunched some numbers and turns out these lil buggers actually make a few bucks! If we don’t make much at least they are purdy!

I am looking forward to many new and interesting things. I will add as I experience them. Today I started a kitchen project. I will show you everything when I am done. It is going to be work! But fun! Hopefully I will have it done before Thanksgiving!
May the peace of The Lord be with you all!

Calling Out

The moment I called out, you stepped in;
you made my life large with strength.
PSALM 138:3

I love that verse. I have it on my frig. My life has changed so much in the last couple of months. I find myself in complete awe of life itself.


I told my best friend a couple of months ago that I had finally decided to let The Lord drive. I sat in my car one morning before heading out for the day and said a simple prayer. OK Lord, I am sorry for being bossy and I want you to take control of my life. I told Him that I trusted Him completely and I was willing to go where ever he wanted me to go and do what ever he wanted me to do. I was at a dead end and did not see any of my stepping stones in front of me and I was scared.

I have always had my faith. Always believed in and loved The Lord. I always asked for help when I needed it and said thank you a few times. But I cannot look back in my life and see a place where I felt my heart swell with LOVE for my Jesus. I cannot remember a specific moment where I felt a calming PEACE come over me like a warm blanket out of the dryer. I cannot grasp a glimpse of my EXCITEMENT for the future.


Until now. Why the change? Because I called out. And now I am large with strength.


My heart is so full of LOVE, PEACE and EXCITEMENT that a simple thank you seems insufficient. I wish that I could put these feelings in a canning jar and pass them out to every person I come in contact with. Wouldn't that be neat?
Here you go...here is a little peace. Hey, mister, would you like a little love?

I am praying that all of you have bundles of LOVE, PEACE and EXCITEMENT in your heart and in your life.

It is better to be silent and be considered a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. unknown

Mommies Make it Better

Let me start by saying, WOW, I ALMOST forgot what it was like with younger children. My boys are teenagers now and have been pretty independent for a while. Although this is not the first time I have taken care of someone Else's children I can say this time is a bit more special. Since I am leaving next week I want to make a few extra good memories with my "other babies" before I go.

Last night was an interesting start. Poor thing wasn't feeling well, upset tummy, and missing momma very much! I did my best to make her feel better...but I am not momma. After a colorful bit of projectile vomiting with me holding the hair, she smiled through her tears and said....I feel better! Will you snuggle me... Precious children!
Before supper two boys decided to show me what they were learning in band. After 15 min. of warming up in a very small enclosed space whilst I was working very hard to put together a delicious supper of fried chicken(prepared by brookshires just for us) the handsome young men decided they were ready to perform. They started with a cacophony of toots and honks and swelled there way into the ever popular fight song! This has probably been the first time in years that I have heard something WITHOUT my hearing aide in. They did pretty good. I was impressed. I smiled and they played... I nodded and they played... The girls screamed and they played... I walked outside and they followed me...and played. I clapped for the ending...and they played... I put my hands together in a prayer and they came to a breathless end... Breathless meaning they were simply out of breath...Precious children!

This morning a pretty lil blonde stood in front of me giggling, opened her mouth and said...will you pull this tooth? When did I become so weak at my stomach??? I was in nursing school! I have had major surgeries, raised 3 stinky boys, cleaned my own deer!!! Why then would a wiggely lil tooth make my stomach jump into my throat? Its crazy. I just said to that pretty lil smiling girl.....EWWW NO WAY!!! WAIT FOR MOM! Of course she just giggled like she does, yanked it out and said you owe me 10 dollars... Precious children!

Little moments mean so much. I look back now and think of how fast they really do grow up. I can think about my first baby and actually smell the baby lotion I used to cover him in. I can remember how he used to lay in my lap and twirl my hair as he fell asleep. Now he is a marine, far away, learning how to blow things up and I am lucky to get a hug or two when I do see him. My other boys are still here but they are well on there way to being independent young men also.No more baby lotion or rocking or sitting in my lap.

So, my advice to myself today and anyone who will listen...hug them, hold them, humor them and most of all love them every minute of every day.

Drizzle Day

My last week here at the shop. I am watching my friends kiddos while she takes her much needed, much deserved vacation before I leave. The thunder woke us up close to midnight. Even with my hearing aide out I could feel the vibrations. Hasn't stopped raining since. Just a slow dark drizzle that makes your eyelids feel heavy and a yearning for a warm snugly sweater and hot bowl of soup.

We finished moving all my stuff. I am actually pretty worn out from all the running around and cleaning and packing and unpacking we did this weekend. But its done and I am ready to be at home. We have loads of plans to keep me busy, I think my guy spends half of his day coming up with ideas to keep me busy so that I wont feel useless. Gotta love him!

We bought our first flowerpot and flowers together this weekend. A half-whiskey barrel and a great big pot of the maroon mums. Very pretty, just the beginning. I did my first wreath the weekend before. I have a feeling there are going to be many more first things in my future.
/div>

I am ready though. And actually I am excited and no longer scared. Being with this man has made me realize a few things about myself. I just wasn't giving myself any credit.

Every stepping stone has been placed in front of me for a reason. I have faith in The Lord, He knows what he is doing. I truely believe that.

Packing Up

I cant believe I am actually leaving. Isn't there a saying that the end of something is simply the beginning of something new? Maybe that is not exactly how it goes but that is how it feels. I am scared and excited all at the same time. I spent a couple of hours last night packing the rest of my stuff. We are moving it Sat. and that will be all.

I have a week left of work. Then I will be a housewife again... I just sat here staring at the screen for what seemed like and hour. Housewife? My face wrinkled with a weird look. No, I don't think I will call myself a housewife. I will think of something else.

I am going to miss my morning conversations with my best friend. I am going to miss the fact that my boys can drop in for a visit at any given moment. I thought about making a list of the things I am going to miss...but that pretty much sums it up.

I am looking forward to many things. I cant make a list of those, way to many.

I can smell it!

For those of you who don't know I am hearing impaired.

Not completely deaf...yet. Saying this is not to gain sympathy but to help you understand how when you lose one sense another is amplified. Mine? Smell. Yeah, my sense of smell is like 4 times more than a normal person.

Man, I can remember coming in from school in the winter and walking into the house and my mouth would start watering...momma's pinto beans and sweet cornbread.

This brings me to my own personal version of Heaven...my Heaven would be the best day of your life lived over and over again, each day with a different heavenly smell. One day may be fresh cut grass, the next day could be cream brulee', the next momma's pinto beans and cornbread. I love things that smell good, I love Fall, I love my life, and mostly I love that The Lord has blessed me so.

May the Peace of The Lord be with you all.

My very first blog

My name is Cyndi and I am 36 years into this learning experience called life.

I decided to start a blog because a very special lady named Brin has an awsome one and it looked like fun. Hopefully I can be a quarter as interesting as she is! If not then at least I will be entertaining myself. I am going to need a reprieve, especially now. I have fallen in love with a wonderful man.
I am moving in with him. Yes, m-o-v-i-n-g in! I have lived in East Tx all my life and I am packing my bandanna up, tieing it to the pole and moving on. You will find out why that is so fascinating as you get to know me better.

Why do I need a reprieve, a place to drift, vent, cry and dream? Because I am moving away from my closest, dearest friend of some 23 odd years. We have worked together as a team and support system for the last 2 years and now I moving away.

I am not sure how hard it is going to be, for either of us, but I am happy enough to give it a shot and see.

Married 13 yrs divorced 4, 3 teenage boys and wonderful friends and family this is part of me.

Here I am today looking forward to tomorrow!

It amazes me because a couple of months ago I was perfectly content with waking up just to get the day over with. Not happy but I thought...well I am content. Right? Wrong. I was lying to everyone but mostly myself saying I am o.k. with where I am in my life.

How can anyone live their life and be happy without having anything to look forward to? I thought it was possible, its not. Its sad. I am not saying a person needs a partner to make their life complete. But a human does need hope.

The future brings hope and hope brings peace and every human heart needs a bit of real peace to function correctly. Join me as I step into something new. I haven't figured out what it is called yet but I will let you know when I do!

May the Peace of The Lord be with you.